No More Lies

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10:10

You have been lied to your entire life. Believe it. My current life experiences with myself and others as well as several sermons in the past week have strengthened my opinion on this. The more men I meet with in bible study or in life, the more I also believe this. I truly believe that the enemy speaks lies into our thoughts daily through a long game approach consisting of a long-term customized plan to cause chaos in your life and stop you from receiving God’s blessing. Tony Evans refers to this as the Evil one having a play book for you that has all your desires and fears in it and he uses it to expose you like a football team would do to beat you on the field. That is why he loves divorce. It causes chaos for not only 2 generations but chaos for up to 4 total generations (Deuteronomy 5:9). But the good news is that there is hope through the One who came to save us (John 3:16-19).

The Lies

From experience I know that lies begin early in life and that they only get stronger. More on that in a bit. I believe that if we had more people in our lives to tell is the truth and that could see whole “God’s eye view”, that we would view this literal attack on God’s Will for what it is. One giant lie and a battle that rages in your mind about right and wrong. I’ll give you an example. I have met dozens of men in my life that were “happy” to be divorced and to be free to do what they please and many of them hardly see their kids (usually not by their choice). But the bible says a man “shall not divorce his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:10). The enemy told these men over a period of years that if they didn’t get away from the controlling nagging wife that they never be happy, never achieve their dreams or maybe even worse things. Likewise, I have met many women that felt the exact same way. In fact, I had a woman in my life just the other day tell me that she was “winning” in life because she was “able to lead her life the way she wanted to finally” and that “no man was ever going to control her anymore”. I could share tons of examples where people came out of family court and proclaimed “victory”. In all of these examples the men or women think they “won” their freedom. But I am pretty sure that if Jesus was here he would show them a birds eye thruthfilled view that they did not win. In fact He might even tell the ladies “you gave up your children half the time or more when I meant for you to have them 100% of the time to pursue your career or your happiness, your career, another man or__________-“ (Titus 2:4-5, Genesis 2:24, Psalm 139:13-14). To the men He might say “I meant for your to train your children the way they should go and you showed them that other things were more important” (Proverbs 22:6, 1 Timothy 5:8, 2 Corinthians 3:2-3, Deuteronomy 6:6-9, Luke 15:20-24, and so many more). I know that this will outrage many just reading it and many more will say “well you don’t know my situation and it was not livable.” That may be the case but I cannot count the amount of hours or money that these same people who say this refused to spend on their spouse or praying for their spouse but will spend on a total stranger and usually more than one as they try to move on and fill that void that the divorce left in their life. If that isn’t a lie, I don’t know what is. What you are saying is that a stranger(s) is worth more time, money, effort and prayer than someone you had kids with, shared your life with and that God loves just as much as He loves you. In fact, if we are being truthful, these same people probably prayed more for a smooth divorce than they prayed for their spouse to change or to be healed and saved the entire time they were married and the 2nd, 3rd and 4th generation will be affected. I can say this because sadly I was one of those. I admit that I prayed more for my ex wife during the divorce and now after than I did the entire time we were married. Oh my what God might have been able to do if that wasn’t the case… 1 Peter 3:1-2 says that prayer can win that person back to God and then to you without saying a word while calling them to salvation. The power of prayer is better than any attorney or divorce settlement could ever be (James 5:16). You may be still be unsold on this idea or upset but keep in mind the Lord’s prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). It begins “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven….”. Let me ask you a question. How many divorces do you think are happening in Heaven? How many fatherless homes or abused children or spouses, or abandoned kids? My guess would be zero. If you are still triggered, just relax because this is just one of the thousands of ways the enemy affects your mind and like all the others is a byproduct of what began super early in your life. Especially if you came from a divorced home yourself.

The Lies Begin Early

Any psychologist worth their salt will tell you that we as people begin to form our identity as children and the Christian psychologists that we know and use and trust for men’s group have told us over and over again that this is also the time when the enemy begins to plant seeds in the mind. Furthermore it always seems to come through the sin or absence of the parent(s). If we look at the example above, it screams of this model for sure. If you are a girl and you have an overpowering and even mean father figure in your life, the likelihood of you viewing men as know it all’s, controlling, “he thinks he really is something”. Or “all men are alike”. “ Life is easier if you are a man and we are at a disadvantage as women” Or my personal favorite (the one I hear all the time) all men are abusive and will hurt you and you need to protect yourself at all times”. The evil one loves all of these because in each scenario he is creating a future woman where respecting a man does not come natural or easy and that is the one thing men crave more than anything from their lady. The first time he displeases you, he “will become just like every other man” because that is what your life experience has shown you. It’s text book and the cycle continues because she views him as the sole issue. The best part for the evil one is that he gets to play these thoughts over and over again in her head years and years before she finds a mate. If her dad is controlling and always has to be right, rest assured that the devil will tell her that she can never play “second “ to a man and the idea and thought of “submitting” (even though they don’t even fully understand the biblical meaning of that word) will make them anxious and angry. She will be the kind of wife that “wears the pants in the family” and her man may not even be able to pick the color of the vehicle he wants to drive or the color paint in their new home let alone major decisions. Do you see how God’s will and “on earth as it is in heaven” is affected long before we become an adult? If a man has that same domineering father, rest assured he will fight for his dad’s attention and approval, never feeling that he ever measures up and is never fully loved. Worse yet, he will more than likely model that behavior when he becomes a father and husband even though he hated it when he was little and that is how the cycle continues to the next generation. The husband and wife in this example will fight to the death over who is in control, if they are ”respected”, if their “needs are met” and about what is “right and wrong”. Now throw a divorce in the mix and the enemy is drooling over the chaos. The devil will tell you (and bring other people into their lives to tell you too) its ok to divorce because you must “run from the abuse or dysfunction” because neither party sees their fault in it, this pattern repeats itself. 75-80% of second marriages fail. Wonder why? Because instead of addressing the spiritual battle at hand, they chose to replace the ex with another person who just possible might be the exact same or worse as the one you escaped, God forbid and they do not pray to have the Holy Spirit change them and heal their past hurts. Flip the scenario to the controlling mother instead of father. Nothing that a son can do will be good enough for the mother while the sisters seem to get whatever they want and learn how to be like mom. The son will feel unloved especially if the mother chooses to put her time towards other male interests in her life that is not her son. He will most likely be insecure because of it and not good at making friends and always afraid of rejection. Women wont respect him because he will be more passive (because in his mind he cant win anyways) and he will likely suffer rejection and is usually left for a “friend” by his lady in his early relationships because ladies will see his passiveness and lack of courage to put himself out there as weakness. If i had a dollar for every time I heard men say “I never won an argument with my wife the entire time I was married, I would be rich. Most of us (me included) were losing a war that we didn’t even know we were fighting (Ephesians 6:10-18).

Win the War

According to the Bible the battle all begins in the mind and by the spiritual warfare that began when the serpent told Eve lies until she let down her guard and ate from the forbidden tree. (Genesis 3:3). I realized for the first time Sunday during a sermon at church that the evil one didn’t even tell Eve to eat the fruit. He just made her doubt God’s word and thus she broke the only rule that was in the Garden because she doubted God. The lies begin small and end with massive chaos. When we live for the world and with the newest woke fad or “well, everyone else is doing it” mentality, we fall from God’s will. Every. Single. Time. The Bible says Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind(Romans 12:2). The only way to renew the mind is through God’s word and prayer. Since there is a battle for Good and evil that is very real (2 Corinthians 10:3-5) whether we believe it or not (and I firmly believe because of my life and what I have seen and witnessed) that exists in the spiritual realm you need to understand that people are not your enemy (James 4:7, 1 Peter 5:8, Psalm 91, 2 Corinthians 10:4, 2 Corinthians 11:14, Matthew 18:18-20). This was the hardest thing in the world for me because coming from the overbearing world, I wanted to attack when I was attacked and fight when the battle was brought to me. Instead, I chose to fight the battle God’s way. Through the Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) the only weapon I had, which was prayer and God’s word. His truth. I chose to pray for those who persecuted me. Those who prayed for literal physical and personal harm to come to me. And my whole mindset changed. I believe that if we all understood the nature of the battle (and that the battle doesn’t end when we discard those who hurt us and move on to others) we would put the energy into legitimate meaningful heartfelt prayer for those in our lives and the Devil would eventually flee from us and on to easier targets. It is the only way that you can win the battle that rages in our own mind. If you are in the middle of a war currently, we encourage you to reach out to others and join a group or support team that can help walk with you along the way.